As I do this study/writing, I am thinking about the "crucible of a loving community" that is needed to recover from severe trauma (that's my topic: Recovery From Trauma for my 1st talk). As part of my journey through some documentaries on the trauma of soldiers, I was reflecting on the way the soldiers recovered who had close loving family and who didn't. Those that had loving. close bonds with community more freely and adequately expressed their pain and grief, shame and guilt. I assert it was the direct result of the mature brains around them with which they "connected". Did you just say "mature brains" helped others recover from trauma and grow emotionally, Dave? Yes, I did.
Loving mature connection in families and communities grow our brains into a more orderly, whole, healthy brain. I won't get too "geeky" on you, but did you know that neuroscientists have been carefully studying this stuff with all the great advances in "real-time" imaging of the brain that are now available? And they find that the brain functions more as 3 separate parts when exposed to trauma (or you could say our minds dissociate to handle the trauma). And the more love and mature connections with others a brain has, the more it function as a whole inside. Check out Dr. Daniel Amen's website if you want to see some cool geeky stuff along this line: www.amenclincs.com
Oh and all this love and good relationship gets registered by us as "Joy" or the great feeling we get when people are happy to be with us! Joy builds mature relational bonds between individuals and groups! Joy matures our brains!
So loving close, healthy bonds are a foundational part of us healing from past trauma. And in order to emotionally mature we must address these traumas which keep us back and "stuck" in negative ways of thinking about ourselves, others our surroundings... To grow emotionally we must have close loving relationships, but even then it can be extremely hard to break free from old chains of negative thinking and what seems like unconscious unhealthy reactions and choices. This is where counselling or close mentoring relationships with a more emotionally mature person can be helpful for some. There are various ways of promoting the process of growing emotionally via counselling and some of these will be highlighted in the seminar I'll do on Friday, November 1, 2013 at 7:30p at the Gathering "space" at 245-279 Activa Ave Kitchener, ON N2E 3V2. For more information: [email protected] or 519-748-6862