Pastoral Prayer Ministry

Loving "community" for the wounded is hard to find and is frequently fragile when you do, here in North America. The emotionally mature are few in number and this has often been the case (read: 1 Corinthians 4:15 (Amplified Bible (AMP)) "15 After all, though you should have ten thousand teachers (guides to direct you) in Christ, yet you do not havemany fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the glad tidings (the Gospel).") 

Spiritual Parenting and Adoptions are desperately needed by the wounded in loving community, but so many leaders are merely "guides" and not "parents". This is not a negative judgement, it is a painful reality. People like the Apostle Paul are just as lacking now as they were when he wrote this two millennia (two thousand years) ago. The sad thing is that many wounded persons have to look outside already established "communities of faith" to other organizations to get support and "family". Fortunately some churches are adopting healing and parenting structures or new wineskins like Living Waters (www.livingwaterscanada.org) or Celebrate Recovery (www.celebraterecovery.com). 

I say to those in Christian Communities who are touched by the wounded (and if you aren't loving, compassionate and willing to reach out toward the wounded and disenfranchised, I question your faith: James 1:27 (The Message (MSG)) "26-27 Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world."), put your compassion to prayerful action! Start, do something as God leads you from His Heart. Jesus makes it clear when He reads Isaiah 61 in the Temple that He came to heal the "Brokenhearted" and He chooses to do that through us: His Body. Regrettably, we know how immature and broken and dirty His Body is today and many of us grieve over this, for ourselves and for others who are deeply in need of "spiritual adoption". Many who are called Elders are actually Youngers (and must choose between parenting their own families and ministering to the body, often neglecting their own families) and those of Elder chronological age are still emotionally stunted and trying to care for their own needs. How many "seniors" are off galavanting around "fulfilling their dreams" while the body of Christ languishes for need of true spiritual mothers and fathers? 

You think me too harsh or severe, remember Paul's admonishment in the above passage? "Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world." We will not grow to serve in love in this way if we "...get squeezed into the world's mold..." (Romans 12:1) We can only find this kind of loving maturity in Jesus' and in spiritual family and true spiritual family is TOO hard to find these days for many brokenhearted people! Be part of the solution! Want to know more about how you can help, write me, I'd be glad to suggest some options.

Did you know what "Christian" means?  Yep, it means "little Christ"...  Wierd eh?  Or is it?  Think... little Christ.  That's what the early Christians were sometimes called: "little Christs".  I'd be fine with being called that!

So why doesn't the Christian life work for you?  Maybe, just maybe, it is because YOU are trying to live it out... YOU may be trying to live out your Christian life, when it is Jesus who needs to be living in and through you...  Am I being ironic here or hyperbolic or playing with words?  No!  It's a paradigm shift, of sorts, it is a spiritual and mental shift as to what it means to be alive in Christ and walking in and by Holy Spirt.

Am I confusing you or is your spirit curious or intrigued?  Romans 12:1 says it clearly, look it up in the Amplified Bible and The Message, they are great ways of communicating this message that we as believers in Jesus are to be "Living Sacrifices".  Galatians 2:20 says it even more radically or bluntly: who is to be living in and through this "earth suit" (what Bill Gillham calls your body)? Jesus is!  Or take a look at what Jesus confronts His disciples about in The Message's rendering of Matthew 16:24-26!  Clearly there is a key point here to get in our hearts and lives!!!

So, if this kind of discussion intrigues you, let me add something that is a "downer", but very honest and real and needs to be said:  If WE are trying to live our own Christian lives, even the best "performers" amongst us will fail miserably (you may do a good job of hiding the failure in the short run, but all who live the Christian life in their own strength are designed/destined to fail!)...   bold words, eh?  Well, come and learn why and how to get out of that "pit" if you find yourself there!  This a key to many people's faith walk!

Come and take the course in January!  http://www.pastoralprayer.com/webinars-and-training.html

The funeral is OVER, let's celebrate the Grace, freely given to us!

Whatever happened to Matthew 17:21 about the demon coming out with prayer and fasting?  It's hard to find that verse in most translations actually saying "fasting"!  Why?  Did it get added?  Why?  Not sure I'll answer that here, however, it does relate to my point and gives pause for questioning our paradigm for fasting and what fasting is to look like.

Take a look at Isaiah 58... here is the fast we've been called to, primarily (I'm not anti-fasting, I'm encouraging grace-filled, joyful Christian living that accepts all that Jesus has done for us: no performance, no earning worth in the redemptive process!)  We don't get extra heaven "gold stars" for beating up our body by refusing it food, in order to show how Christian we are.  Jesus' disciples were encouraged to eat and celebrate, not fast.  Jesus seemed to identify fasting with grieving (when He died/left them).  Joyful men seem to rarely fast.  So what is the big deal with absurd amount of fasting in some Christian circles?  Is this dualism/Gnosticism?

Colossians 16 Therefore no one is to act as your judge in regard to food or drink orin respect to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath day- 17 things which are a mere shadow of what is to come ; but the substance belongs to Christ. 18 Let no one keep defrauding you of your prize by delighting in self-abasement and the worship of the angels, taking his stand on visions he has seen, inflated without cause by his fleshly mind, 19 and not holding fast to the head, from  whom the entire body, being supplied and held together by the joints and ligaments, grows with a growth which is from God. 20 If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, 21 "Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch !" 22 (which all refer to things destined to perish with use )-in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men ? 23 These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.

Clearly, there are issues with motives and heart attitudes about which Paul is exhorting or challenging the church of Colossae related to fasting and eating various foods (I am not talking about allergies and dietary restrictions here).  Today, there are also there same ungodly mindsets (that encourage various forms of self-effort in the Christian life, to please God) that must be exposed by the Truth, Grace and Love of God.  

We are forgiven and free in Jesus Christ, our Redeemer!  We have place (read: we are authorized) into the Royal Chambers and to come before the King with our requests and not be destroyed, but to be heard and given freely from His Bounty.  We are His children and he has extended to us the "sceptre" of Jesus, He has torn the veil of separation, He has paid the Bridal price (too much to expand upon here are these scriptural word pictures of expensive, free Grace).  We are His and He is ours & His banner (or His family name) over us as we banquet (feast) with Him is: Love!  That's His name: Love and that is now our "Family Name": Love.  What a Joy this is!  So come and eat of and with Him who was The Sacrificial Lamb.  He calls us into the Rest of All that He has done for us!  Celebrate!  Be filled with Joy!  God is with us, Emmanuel!

When a person tells me that they have experienced betrayal of sexual vows of faithfulness in their marriage, I explain to them emphatically that they have been traumatized.  

A casual or accidental visual encounter with pornography or nudity as a child or adolescent is often a severe trauma to that individual.

Many are surprised, especially about the latter issue of being exposed to pornography as a form of trauma.  I explain that my understanding of trauma is to understand that any impact against a human being that is not loving or is wrong is potentially traumatic.  So to ignore (neglect) a child is, as described in the Life Model ( www.lifemodel.com ): Absence Trauma, or is to be seen as the lack of the good nurture, provision and protection that all children need.  Clearly a moral code is involved in discerning these matters, however many different cultures and peoples would agree secularly on these issues as witnessed in the DECLARATION OF THE RIGHTS OF THE CHILD of the United Nations: http://www.un.org/cyberschoolbus/humanrights/resources/child.asp

So from Judeo-Christian thought, the accidental or casual viewing of pornography by a child may well be an invasion of their innocence.  Such accidental or otherwise seen lustful material assaults their growing brains and bodies and attacks their souls and spirits in ways that are damaging and distorting to their latent (yet to be awakened) sexual understanding and experience.  Such trauma may be visual nudity that isn't to be seen under those particular circumstances.  Clearly I am expressing Christian views on nudity.  However, many Christians may not see these events as the visual assaults that I believe they can be.  The effect of this trauma can set in motion destructive thoughts and behaviors that can be devastating and may impact many others lives beyond the one initially traumatized.  

This is the nature of trauma: it spreads it's damaging impact to others, sometimes in the most insidious forms.

Christians may have been taught to understand two forms of sin, lawlessness or transgression against God and others: sins of omission (the lacking of right, loving actions) and of sins of commission (wrong/immoral actions). Clearly, this idea of the passing on of sin from one generation to another is warned against as a consequence in Deuteronomy 30.  Many view this passing on of sin as some sort of supernatural transfer of some dark energy force called sin to the next generation.  This, I will not argue, although I will caution that although we are to confess and understand the sin (moral law breaking actions or intentions/thoughts) and iniquity (lawlessness) of our ancestors, we are are never held responsible by God for the sins of those that came before us.  Each of us is responsible, before God for what we think and do.  So what gets passed down are character defects, lack of skill in loving and nurturing, wisdom that comes from emotionally mature and secure parents and other caregivers.  These "lackings" can all be seen as the "fruit" of trauma.  One might see these in a typical description of a dysfunctional family.  The fact is, we are all wounded by sin/trauma and we all have the resulting dysfunction present in our families to varying degrees.

The Joy and Glory of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Messiah/Son of God, is that He, Jesus is the "Repairer of the Breach" that sin/trauma has torn in the fabric of Creation and especially we humans.  Hebrews 10 and the Book of Romans so clearly describe these issues, as does reading the Book of John.  

Jesus' supernatural conception; 
the miracles He performed as He cared for people; 
the Truths and right ways of Life He taught and 
the nature of His Love for others and God; 
the death by unlawful execution for crimes He did not commit (so that He could be the    perfect sacrifice  and payment for the sins we have and do commit); 
His bodily resurrection (or coming back to life) after being dead for 3 days and 
His physical rising up to Heaven in the presence of witnesses:

All of who He is testifies that He was the fulfilment of the foretelling of the One who would come and save us from our sins (Isaiah), the perfect Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world and heals the impact of sin's trauma (Luke 4). 

http://www.alphanewsdaily.com/Messiah1.html is a great listing of the stunning Old Testament scriptural prophecy of the coming and ministry of the Messiah, Yeshua,  Jesus Christ of Nazereth.  He is literally the solution to our trauma.  Walking out that process of healing with Him and others is another big topic!

What is a greater and more worthy thing than understanding what trauma is?  To understand what The Great Physician offers as Healing to the Nations is the greatest understanding and wisdom of all! (Psalm 1).

27 Stop toiling and doing and producing for the food that perishes and decomposes [in the using], but strive and work and produce rather for the [lasting] food which endures [continually] unto life eternal; the Son of Man will give (furnish) you that, for God the Father has authorized and certified Him and put His seal of endorsement upon Him.

28 They then said, What are we to do, that we may [habitually] be working the works of God? [What are we to do to carry out what God requires?]

29 Jesus replied, This is the work (service) that God asks of you: that you believe in the One Whom He has sent [that you cleave to, trust, rely on, and have faith in His Messenger]. (John 6, Amplified Bible)

In Verse 29 of John 6, Jesus is speaking of himself, Jesus Christ of Nazareth.  So tell me reader: have you investigated His claims? He is, as C.S, Lewis asserts, as a result of His claims, either a: Liar, Lunatic or Lord (one worthy of our worship and loyalty). http://merecslewis.blogspot.ca/2011/09/deciding-about-jesus-liar-lunatic-or.html

So, why do I share these verses from my readings, today? Well, I struggle with going to real earthly food that perishes, at times, versus finding my value, comfort and calling in Jesus and His Body (of believers). True emotional maturity means seeing the ways that I try to comfort and care for myself and understanding if they are truly healthy and worthy ways in my Saviour's eyes/heart, for His heart is mine and mine is His and I can do His Will in His Strength (Plillipians 4:13 & Galatians 2:20).  I can find "food and drink" that truly satisfies!

As I seek to live by faith, this idolatry of wrongly running to food as my comfort in my life has become clearer. Yes, I said idolatry. That's an old word, maybe for some.  It's meaning is to look for meaning and value in things apart from the Lordship of Jesus Christ. To look to food as what will fill the ache in my soul is to idolize.  Yes, anything can take the place of our Lord Jesus in our lives and Paul and the other writers of the New Testament frequently ask us to be wary of this carnal or fleshly detour. The Father's Ten Commandments address it as: having no other gods besides Him. So we are left to see that apart from living in Jesus Christ, our fallen nature will get us looking anywhere but to God for comfort and meaning (Romans 8:6-8).

So, I surrender again to my Lord and Master and Friend: Jesus Christ and choose to recognize and relate to Christ within as my All-in-All.  For He alone can give me what I truly need to thrive here and to live with Him in Heaven. Consider the posted site/blog above on Jesus' claims, they have the potential of revolutionizing your life and outlook, fovever.  Find the "food" that never spoils and truly satisfies.

I am sitting at my back patio table enjoying an Indian Summer afternoon and thinking about and writing the text for an upcoming free seminar I'm doing on the 1st Friday in November (tentative date, not yet confirmed). 

As I do this study/writing, I am thinking about the "crucible of a loving community" that is needed to recover from severe trauma (that's my topic: Recovery From Trauma for my 1st talk).  As part of my journey through some documentaries on the trauma of soldiers, I was reflecting on the way the soldiers recovered who had close loving family and who didn't.  Those that had loving. close bonds with community more freely and adequately expressed their pain and grief, shame and guilt.  I assert it was the direct result of the mature brains around them with which they "connected".  Did you just say "mature brains" helped others recover from trauma and grow emotionally, Dave?  Yes, I did. 

Loving mature connection in families and communities grow our brains into a more orderly, whole, healthy brain.  I won't get too "geeky" on you, but did you know that neuroscientists have been carefully studying this stuff with all the great advances in "real-time" imaging of the brain that are now available?  And they find that the brain functions more as 3 separate parts when exposed to trauma (or you could say our minds dissociate to handle the trauma).  And the more love and mature connections with others a brain has, the more it function as a whole inside.  Check out Dr. Daniel Amen's website if you want to see some cool geeky stuff along this line: www.amenclincs.com

Oh and all this love and good relationship gets registered by us as "Joy" or the great feeling we get when people are happy to be with us!  Joy builds mature relational bonds between individuals and groups!  Joy matures our brains!

So loving close, healthy bonds are a foundational part of us healing from past trauma.  And in order to emotionally mature we must address these traumas which keep us back and "stuck" in negative ways of thinking about ourselves, others our surroundings...  To grow emotionally we must have close loving relationships, but even then it can be extremely hard to break free from old chains of negative thinking and what seems like unconscious unhealthy reactions and choices.  This is where counselling or close mentoring relationships with a more emotionally mature person can be helpful for some.  There are various ways of promoting the process of growing emotionally via counselling and some of these will be highlighted in the seminar I'll do on Friday, November 1, 2013 at 7:30p at the Gathering "space" at 245-279 Activa Ave  Kitchener, ON N2E 3V2.  For more information: [email protected] or 519-748-6862

When Ivy and I got engaged, we wanted to put something in our wedding vows that we thought would be an apt expression of the heart of God towards each other. We said that we wanted to be a force of love to see the other be all that they were meant to be...

I am so grateful that God has given me Ivy and freely given her the grace to walk with me and forgive and encourage me to be Dave Corbett, in every circumstance of my life: learning how to be a child of the King and Saviour of all who would follow Him, the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Let's spur one another on to love and loving actions! Let's help each other to mature.

by David Blair Corbett (Notes) on Saturday, 27 August 2011 at 15:08...

Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn't so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you've done.

3-4You didn't think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract God from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard? Or did you think that because he's such a nice God, he'd let you off the hook? Better think this one through from the beginning. God is kind, but he's not soft. In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change. Romans 2:2b - 4  (The Message)

[This passage was posted, as a statement related to my own life and is not meant to be a "hidden message" to someone I'm in relationship with or who is a friend of mine on FB.]

by David Blair Corbett (Notes) on Saturday, 10 September 2011 at 12:49 (on Facebook)

In my view, I need clear moral standards built in love… That is what I see successful parents doing, even today where moral greyness seems to reign… These parents unashamedly nurture and guide with consistent standards (that are moral), this brings peace and security.

Living by “the Law” (legalistic religiousness) can be very destructive, it seems, yet, living without standards or via some form of moral relativism has been taking cultures to destruction for millenia… So what’s a body to do??!!

Without loving, clear standards, we grow up to become anxious seekers of instant gratification who never know how to grow up to emotional maturity – that sounds like half the adult culture in North America, to me!. Without these clear, loving moral standards, we don’t know the difference between love and lust… Youth often rebel and refuse moral standards because they are reacting to the way some parents "deliver" these standards (in fear & anger, maybe?) or because the “rights & wrongs” aren’t adhered to by the “messenger”. Being a “Free-spirit” is too often a euphemism/rationalization for being a clost or even bold rebel, in my finding… Many teens can’t find their way through the morass of moral “greyness” our culture has been handing out for decades…

Loving nurture always includes boundaries and clear messages of where you begin, and I end, so to speak… Doing hard things (as far as right and wrong) is what grows us up!   We really need to have those in our lives who will help guide and care for us as we learn to do those difficult things…  This essential is sadly lacking out there today!

Some feel we know what is morally correct from nurture alone… This discounts one’s spirit… We know authentic Love when we sense Love, some say that’s intuitive… I say it is Spirit. And soul alone cannot learn to be loving, it is experienced in one’s alive and functioning spirit, which has learned and been aided to live at the forefront of each of us – taking preeminence. Personally, I think we do not teach this well, or even at ALL, in North America.

Morals have been expunged from too much of public education over the past 40 years or so, only to create a vacuum that darkness has slowly filled to the point where some public schools are more like hi-security airport clearance areas at the entrance ways! Now many public education leaders and legislators are scrambling to bring in character/moral development curricula!!! Go figure!?

When I was in university, one of my advisers was the founder of values clarification training for educators. His family-life was an admitted total ruin and this person (a secular Jew) was quite willing to share how a loved one of his required a very stringent moral rehabilitation in a 6-month intensive Judeo-Christian program to “straighten them out”! For those uninitiated in this ideology, let me just say: look it up online…  If you want to discern the true worth of an ideologue, look to how they raise their kids and then see what Truth there is in the philosophy they espouse!

We are so strange… We want to see an orderly society where people are kind and respectful and yet… “Oh, let them go to university and “find” themselves…” Hubris! Too many kids looking for themselves, in university, end up depressed and at the counseling center!!! I’d like to say they find what they were looking for there, but I’d be lying to you… Disenchanted, and lacking true moral guidance and support to do the hard work of growing up emotionally, a large percentage of them drop out…

I had put out, by various forms of digital heraldry, that I was going to this PK event last night.  In the end, I saw 5 other men join me from Guelph, KW and Brampton.  It was a great joy to have my daughter's fiancee join us!

Houston Street Baptist Church

It was a pretty packed house at Houston Street Baptist Church in a venue that I am guessing could hold 800 or close to it.  We got 2nd row seats and settled in for a great night.  There were plenty of seats as we got there at 6:30ish, but it sure filled up.  The place was buzzing and we weren't to be disappointed.

The Emcee (AKA: MC or Master of Ceremony) was one of the leaders of PKC, he's lean, 57 and a bit of a comic with an ability to do a tough, straight shooting interview.  His 1st guest on stage is a guy by the name of Glenn, who is of similar age.  The Emcee makes it clear in wry kinda way that he's got full permission from Glenn to "ask him anything"...  And he does...

Glenn's Story

Glenn's story is the dream of many North American men, he had everything... except contentment with his wife.  This hidden dissatisfaction/arrogance turned into a 4.5 year adulterous relationship with a woman at work (about 20 years into his marriage).  Glenn's wife asked him to leave eventually, as the truth of his adultery emerged.  Glenn ended up having his eldest (on-fire for Jesus) daughter come and stay with him as he continued with his mistress.  As an aside, the Emcee called Glenn on saying it was an "affair", yet the word adultery was seldom, if ever, used by either man (correct me if I'm wrong on that).

The story got worse as Glenn's wife became involved (with what sounded like) an adulterous relationship of her own, which lasted 2.5 weeks and threw Glenn into a suicidal depression.  This was the opportunity Glenn's dear daughter needed and she shared deeply with Glenn.  Glenn, soon after, recommitted his life to Jesus, alone, in a cafe.  Around that same time, a family conflict arose in Glenn's wife's home which necessitated Glenn returning to the family home to intervene.  What resulted was a reconciliation with his wife, Cheryl and he quit his adulterous affair that day!  Does this read like a novel?  Wow.  Now, in the Hamilton area, Cheryl and Glenn are mentoring couples looking to shore up their marriages.  Their ministry even has a venue for helping couples in crisis.  I believe you can contact the church that hosted this event for more details: Houston Street Baptist Church.

That was just the 1st 40 minutes!  Next 3 (of the 5 in the group) married, twenty-something guys come up for a similar front-stage interview with the Emcee about their men's group. It was a good discourse, summarized by saying that these guys were really being "brethren" with each other! Words like accountability (which Nate Larkin picked up on later...) and honesty got bandied about, and it sure sounded like these guys where the "real deal".  What I didn't hear was how much sobriety these guys had, how much fruit there was from the group relating/supporting.

Nate Larkin

After a 20 minute break with hi-sugar, rice crispie square snack (read Gary Taubes!) and bottled water (good stewardship of the planet? pardon me, while I love God's creation), Nate Larkin appeared.  He was worth the wait!  In a very unpretentious and plainspoken, wry monologue, Nate gave us the goods.  As a guy and minister who'd been hooked by porn at a young age and later as a new minister got hooked-in with lust again while on an educational trip about the destruction porn causes by touring the seedy side of NYC.  Prostitutes and many forms of lust ensued by Nate's choice for 12 some odd years and resulted in him leaving the ministry (as a senior pastor) after only 5 years.  Use of a 12-step sexaholics group in Franklin, Tennessee was the beginning of Nate's recovery from lust/sex addiction.  He talked about how he lied his way through an accountability group (in what sounded like a church atmosphere), and how he didn't trust the church or pastors to help him.  As a co-leader of a male, pastoral leaders', Christ-centred recovery group,  which is approx. 36 week, and based on the 12-steps, I can tell you that there aren't many "safe places" for ministry leaders to recover from such sin-sicknesses.

I really liked Nate's description of the many "flesh-faces" or false persona's of Nate.  My favourite face description (watch the play on words) was Mag-Nate (the flesh-biz Nate).  The guys loved his humour (which never was in the slightest bit off-colour).  He talked about our carnal natures in such a simple way that hit home.  Such teaching on the ways that the flesh operates and our freedom from sin, the flesh and the evil one being through faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ of Nazareth (read the book of Romans), is essential Christian discipleship.  Great Biblical emphasis!

We heard of his founding of the Samson Society, which has a great online presence at www.samsonsociety.net   This ministry is another great "tool"/resource for Christian men who want to grow emotionally mature and get rid of the sin that so easily besets us.  Well done, Promise Keepers Canada.  Well done!